We were supposed to get married on Memorial Day, May 25th, but because of this pandemic we had to make the difficult decision to postpone our big wedding celebration. This was hard for both of us… it didn’t seem fair to me. Something like an extravagant (or on a budget) wedding felt like a society given. I knew a big wedding wasn’t what a marriage was about, but still I found myself sobbing in confessing my feelings to God. I’m a sinful human with a heart that is often selfish and narcissistic, thinking that somehow I deserved the big wedding with over a hundred people dressed to the nines, celebrating Wott and I.
I felt both selfish and ashamed for my tears. Other people were losing their livelihoods, their businesses, and even their loved ones amidst Covid-19, while all I was losing was a big party. That being said, I recognized, with the help of my community, that my feelings were valid, and something I should be honest with God about. Wott and I ended up deciding on April 24th, 2020 as our legal wedding day, since we would no longer be having our huge ceremony on May 25th, we figured we didn’t have a good reason to wait. As that day approached and our little countdown chalkboard went into the single digits, I felt that our wedding day was going to be very bittersweet.
I woke up on April 24th, set out my wedding garments, went over to our house for lunch with the love of my life, and then left to have a live stream of me getting ready with bridesmaids and mom from afar. I then hopped in my ratty old car, mask on stand-by, with full makeup and hair done, and my wedding dress tucked away in the backseat. As my poor car’s AC tried in vain to keep my makeup from melting I started feeling more excited than ever. I said one last prayer, and I knew God had answered my prayers to work in my heart about all that disappointment I was anticipating. This was the day I would get to marry my best friend! We were getting married at our friends house in Bastrop (a county over), where the social distancing rules allowed for our photographer, officiant and a few other helping hands. When I arrived, I ducked into a side-bedroom where a friend could help me button me up in my wedding dress.
After a few expected technical difficulties, I walked out in my white dress, borrowed veil, into the scorching evening sunlight. My wonderful fiance said “Oh, wow.” as he saw me, and everything started feeling very real. It was 90 degrees, so needless to say we both got very sweaty as our officiant prayed over us and shared scripture about the holy union we were about to make. Then we both read our vows to each other. I was crying tears of joy and we were both beaming.
I was reminded more than ever what it meant to enter into the covenant of marriage with this man, and we were ready for it. Covid-19 may have spoiled our original wedding day plans but it did not spoil our marriage plans. Contrary to some of my anticipations, I felt like our wedding day was more sweet than bitter by a long shot. It was the covenant of marriage happening before our eyes, hand in hand.
I’ll be honest, my vows were late in coming together, but there were several parts I knew I wanted to include for a while.
- That I will strive to do right by Wott and when I don’t I’ll be quick to confess my errors.
- When I am wronged I will strive to love and forgive even though I may not feel like it, because I am loved and forgiven by my Lord and saviour, even when I know I don’t deserve any of that grace.
I want our marriage to be marked by an overflow of the love, grace, and forgiveness we both have received from our heavenly Father, that extends to each other, and those around us. It’s been a wonderful first two weeks of marriage, and I’m overjoyed to get to spend my life with this man who loves Jesus as much as I do.
So anyway, after the wedding ceremony, we hopped in Wott’s car to meet our photographer at a photo destination. From there we took several beautiful photos as the sun was golden, and the wind was frazzling my hair. After a whirlwind of photos we headed home, danced our first dance as husband and wife to Frank Sinatra’s “The Way You Look Tonight” on our vinyl player, drank champagne and cut our gluten free wedding cake.
Even though a Covid-19 wedding day is not what we planned, it was amazing. We felt safe, loved, and celebrated – even from a distance. At the end of the day, what we both really wanted was a marriage, and we got to start that together. So with that said, it was a perfect wedding day.