On October 26th, my boyfriend proposed to me, and I said yes! We’re getting married on May 25th. My last blog post was a full 6 months ago, in August of this past year. Since then, so much has happened. Apart from getting engaged to the love of my life (who I call Wott) I’ve got a full time job, ran a marathon, and Wott and I just closed on a house. That’s more life change at once then is ideal, but it’s all good change.
The past few years I would get frustrated that I hadn’t had much luck with men. At first I wasn’t able to get dates, and was very awkward. Then I was still awkward but could get dates, but it wasn’t clicking with anyone. Then the guys I was feeling a connection with weren’t compatible with me. Ugh. If any of those feelings sound familiar to you, then join the club.
A few years ago I would have said that the man I would marry would “have to be a Christian” but would then go on to list all my other ‘requirements’ I wanted in a guy. I’ve heard some wise old folks say that all that really matters is that someone really loves Jesus – that advice is something I’ve quickly shrugged off. The reason being, that’s not something I felt myself. Sure, I’d try to say “I love Jesus” but it wasn’t until April of 2018 that I really had a strong desire to pursue him.
I finally started to understand what it meant to be “Loving the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength.” Suddenly I deeply cared that they cared about Jesus – because I deeply cared about Jesus. It was no longer just a requirement that they “be a Christian”, it was the thing that attracted me most.
Wott and I met in July of 2018. When I didn’t have a car he was voluntold to give the new girl (that was me) a ride to Bible Study. Our friendship was spurred on by our mutual love for theology, and I was left starry eyed at his bible literacy (Does that make me a nerd?). That being said, our friendship was fully platonic until October, when he asked me out on a whim. That Bible study we had attended together had dissolved and our friendship was starting to disappear. I realized I had nothing to lose by going on a date with him.
All it took was a few dates and a foundation of preexisting friendship to fall in love with him. I was truly surprised at myself. I’d had crushes before but not head over heels love. Here was a man I loved and respected, someone who was insanely fun to be around, and who was actively pursuing Jesus with all his heart. Add a little romance and the rest is history.
I’ve heard a lot of relationship advice, and have even given it out. Apparently being a happy single girl who’s been on a lot of dates gave me the authority to give relationship advice…? I don’t know. Some of the advice I’ve been told includes, “When you meet the right one you just know.” “You should be friends first” “You should feel a spark from the beginning” “True love will make any relationship work” “Romantic love doesn’t last.” Some of that advice may be good. The advice that I can now affirm however is “They just gotta really love Jesus” and my advice that I’d add to that, is so do you.
My relationship with Jesus is far more important than any other relationship, including my dear soon to be husband, and I can take comfort and security in the fact that Jesus is likewise more important to him than I am.
We’ve had to work through a lot of difficult things together, because we are both human beings with various degrees of baggage or trauma in our lives. We are both sinful people saved by grace. That means we have wronged each other and we will again, but we will strive to forgive, to change, and to love the way that we have seen from our relationship with Christ. We’ve both received a lot of marriage advice telling us how equally hard and good marriage is going to be, and I’m ready for it.
I’m looking forward to writing more about our relationship and the lessons we learn together in this new season of life.